Boomerang kid reverses direction

boomerangAnother downsizing step taken today, and I’m feeling pretty weepy about it.

My youngest child left home this afternoon.

It shouldn’t be a big deal; he’s 25 for godssake. It’s not even the first time – he went off to college at 18, and until the past few months he’s hardly been back home. But since September he’s been my housemate in order to save $$ for his big globe-trotting adventure – to parts known and unknown.

I have been totally happy living alone since I left his dad in 2001 (when he left for college, actually). I amuse myself quite well, and mostly handle what needs to be handled.

But “I’ve grown accustomed to his face.”  And his good-natured company, his music, his assistance, his goofiness. It’s been a real pleasure and privilege to get to know him as a responsible young adult who is quite capable of running his own life.

His room is now (mostly) empty of his stuff – his boxes line the walls of my once orderly garage. After some cleaning and buffing I could rent the space while I continue the process of getting rid of my own stuff.

Meanwhile I’ve got a couple of big bags in the car for Goodwill. And a hole in my heart.

Wy-amtrak1

Amtrak to Seattle. Seattle to Dublin. On to Prague, Sweden, Berlin, India, Thailand…

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6 Comments

Filed under Attachment - Vairagya, Baby steps, Emotional issues, Family issues

6 responses to “Boomerang kid reverses direction

  1. Susan

    It seems to be a fact of life that the children we would be happy to have stay at home because they are such good kids are the ones who go out and make it on their own. And the really rotten ones that are nothing but trouble and heartache to their parents keep coming back, or keep needing to be bailed out of one mess after another.
    My son has been on his own for many years, and I still miss having him close by. Email and phone just isn’t the same, is it.

    • Hey Susan – so glad you’re still around!

      I’m much better today… a little yardwork in beautiful weather did the trick.

      And you’re so right. I just wrote a story for a health magazine on boomerang kids (young adults, really) and so many come home because of desperate straits.

      Wy was a delight, even though I had to ignore his method of storing his clothes. The floor remains his favorite closet.

      I still like the idea of the multi-generational family compound.

  2. Susan

    I’ve been thinking quite a bit about the whole idea of housing and owning a home versus renting or communal living. I have a very small house, especially compared to the new McMansions springing up here (most of them as second homes for the Cuyahogans who invade this area each summer). But in terms of maintenance/heating/cooling/appliances I’m consuming the same resources that could take care of a family, instead of just me. It just doesn’t make good long term sense. And my son’s being happy in an apartment building is making more sense. I just wish there was some way for renters to build up some ‘equity’ over time, perhaps become owner/renters, like an employee owned business.
    Of course the apartment dwellers still ‘over consume’ appliances. An ideal group apartment/dwelling would have several centrally located communal kitchens for baking, etc, with just hot plates or microwaves in the individual units.

    • It’s a conundrum. Neither the building industry nor local zoning regulations are really prepared for what boomers want and need in their retirement. (As you often do, Susan, you bring up subjects worth a full post…). Your idea of separate living spaces with some shared areas is very appealing. Try to find that outside a retirement complex….

  3. Splodge!

    I don’t even want to think about when my son leaves home – and glad to read that you’re rallying.

    Think of all those interesting post cards you’ll receive and at least you don’t have to worry that he won’t be able to take care of himself.

    • Hey, it’s only grief. I think the buildup to his exit was the most excruciating part. Now that he’s gone, I’m back to chopping wood and carrying water.

      By myself.

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