Category Archives: Funny

I had a dream: burglars took everything!

burglarThis downsizing thing must be weighing on me… last night I dreamed I returned from a day out of town and found the police at my house because neighbors had seen some strangers hauling stuff from my house.

The dream house was considerably larger than my present home. When I walked in to assess the damage I was astonished to discover that almost every room was empty – they’d even taken the carpets.

Only one room had something left: an iron cot of the sort that slept on at camp decades ago, with sagging metal springs and a mattress so ancient it was grooved thin in the center. A few summer dresses remained in the closet.

My first thought was, “I wish they’d finished the job – how am I going to get rid of that cot?”

My second thought was, “Thank God – the hard decisions have been made for me!”

And my third thought was, “I wonder how much the insurance company will reimburse me… I could get some cool NEW stuff.” (Incorrigible!)

Then I woke up.

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Filed under Attachment - Vairagya, Downsizing, Emotional issues, Funny

Sunshine and selling stuff don’t mix.

Here in the Pacific northwest we’re used to gray skies for several months of the year.  People may grumble about the absence of sunshine, but there is at least one significant up side to the dusky light:

You can’t see how dirty or dinged your stuff is. You don’t see the cobwebs, the cat’s noseprints on the windows, the greasy streaks on the oven door. And you don’t realize how funky that old oak bureau really is – faded over here, scratched over there, and the drawers refuse to shut straight. Unfortunately I want to sell the old oak bureau. And the big (scratched) executive desk. And the (faded) Victorian chair.

The sun has been out for two days straight, and I’ve seen the light; serious cleaning is in order.  This house is almost 40 years old… I’m thinking I shouldn’t put it on the market till the sun backs off a bit!

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Filed under Baby steps, Downsizing, Funny, Selling stuff

Praying to false idols?

I thought Christians didn’t worship false idols. But what do I know, Unitarian-Buddhist-Pagan that I am? According to the Christian Broadcasting Network, Prayers are needed for global economy:

In January of this year, Cindy Jacobs was in a worship service when the Lord spoke to her, “Cindy, the strongman over America doesn’t live in Washington, DC – the strongman lives in New York City! Call My people to pray for the economy.” …

For these and other reasons Cindy is calling for a Day of Prayer for the World’s Economies on Wednesday, October 29, 2008. They are calling for prayer for the stock markets, banks, and financial institutions of the world on the date the stock market crashed in 1929. They are meeting at the New York Stock Exchange, the Federal Reserve Bank, and its 12 principal branches around the US that day.

We are going to intercede at the site of the statue of the bull on Wall Street to ask God to begin a shift from the bull and bear markets to what we feel will be the ‘Lion’s Market,’ or God’s control over the economic systems,” she said.  “While we do not have the full revelation of all this will entail, we do know that without intercession, economies will crumble.”

So hundreds crowd about the sacred bull on Wall Street:

We are as mad as Midas.

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Filed under Attachment - Vairagya, Funny, Spiritual lessons